the endless list of things

Sunday is the toughest day of the week, not Monday. I'll have to get all the household chores done, the washing, the cleaning, cut the nails, get the groceries for the week ahead and more, maybe hit the gym also so that I don't feel so bad about all the calories piled on from the cheat meals and drinking over the weekend. No worries, I know I'm not alone.

That's just Sunday. And then there is the year, and to all the people out there who wrote a long list of to-dos this year, all the best! I believe in setting goals and purposes, but am definitely not a fan of empty wish-lists that never come true.

2013's been a good year thus far. A good year is one that is filled with many ups and downs. There are no peaks if there're no troughs, no happiness if hardships and sadness don't exist. And I gotto say, it's been jolly enjoyable thus far. Except for the fact that I wished I made more effort in getting my ass into a University, getting my driving license and many more.

For me, I don't really have major obligations like a child or a pet dog to go home to, I run freely and get to pick the hours and evenings I would like to find myself in the gym or a dance class or so, and when the weekends come it's a FFA (Free For All). I can't imagine how one would manage keeping him or herself in shape when a child comes along, with all the financial and commitments required. I mean, I can barely make time for movies and I don't have a social calendar, like most people do, with planned meet ups and stuffs.

And for now, I hope nothing comes in between my plans to finish reading a few books. There is a need to exercise the mind as well. Sitting here and reflecting helps also, in decreasing the possibility of me returning to the very time-wasting and non-productive DOTA2.

Certainly hope I can get my new mobile phone and laptop as well.

Movie Wise, do catch Disconnect, which stitches a few short stories together, and really reflects the impact social media and technology has on us. Really educations if you'd ask me.

And here's a random Praying Mantis that startled me on a Sunday.

Have a great week ahead!

the truth

some of us live a lie all our life, some wear a mask and pretend to be someone they're not, some change their masks as they move into the different scenes in life, others smile and laugh when they're not behind the beautiful and complete portrait they've painstakingly painted; with lies, the untrue and nonexistent.

someday the curtain will drop, someday someone slips backstage and sometimes we invite trusted ones behind to have a seat while we remove all the pretentious facade that keeps us sane, acceptable and aligned in society's eyes and values.

sometimes we look at the people we think we've known for the longest time, and realise that they're the way they're because there really isn't any other way out. while the more blessed and ignorant ones, simply live, eat and sleep on the performing stage. perhaps things are easier that way.

I guess I'll be living my own lie till the day that I get to make my truth come true.

what's yours?

outsourcing your life

might sound kind of foreign to most of us, but we've actually been doing it for the longest time!

have a domestic helper at home? well, then that's you/your parents outsourcing the cleaning/care-taking/etc portion of things to your friendly Maria, instead of them doing it themselves, because their time is better spent making money than doing every single nitty-gritty household chore

just like any savvy manager that does a proper cost comparison before embarking on outsourcing certain of a company's services, we too can do that with our lives!

imagine your life/yourself as a company, and if at certain times, if it would be more cost and time savvy to do the activity yourself, or would it be more practical to get someone else to do the job?

I decided to blog a little about this, having just finished doing the steaming of my work clothes, and I thought that the few things that I would definitely outsource when I have the financial ability to, is definitely ironing/steaming, following by cleaning and the preparation of my own meals.

I wash my own clothes, I iron them, I hang them up, I steam them, I fold them, I pack my own room, dust it, I prepare my own breakfast and sometimes dinner, if I'm not, then I'm probably eating out, boy, I am even the one giving myself my own pocket money *pat on the back*

nonetheless, there're certain things that one definitely cannot outsource, say, the care-taking of your child during the important periods, being there for family, friends or etc. because the cost component can't really measure against the relationship portion. and I guess that's what largely defines us as humans, there's only that much that a domestic helper or any artificial intelligence can do.

what will you first outsource be?

when I grow up

I wanna be a star, I wanna get rich, I wanna be famous

hahahaha! I hope I got the lyrics right, for PCD's "When I Grow Up"

Being the kid in the family that has really been influenced by the media, I always thought it would be awesome if I got to do something in front of the screen, or at least behind the radio. Anything associated with the term celebrity or media face/voice seemed to have always caught my attention.

The reason I'm writing this is because of a small happening at a coffee shop near office during lunch time. Just factually reporting the situation, one of the store owner came up to me and told me it's such a waste that I'm not casting on local television, the humble me couldn't help but secretly be happy for the small compliment. Though I know it's the colour of my hair that makes me look like I'm some kpopstarwannabeyadayada.

Some people have also told me that I may have a radio voice when I tried, and a friend added that that also meant I had a radio face, hahaha, I guess it swings both ways!

I wished someone gave me a break, and I would like to start small and work my way up, since I don't really think that I was born for this; with a natural knack for just speaking in front of a big crowd and talking about just anything under the sun, but quite honestly, I'm willing to work for it.

I've tried being a small time presenter, not sure if it even qualifies as presenting. And basically, we just ended up with like what, 20 takes? Ha ha! It was good fun though! I also tried doing Voice Over before, with a script behind the backdrop, hahahahahaha!



Being someone who's really media conscious also means that the way I look at things and people get 'distorted' as well. I look at people through the lens; a really distorted paradigm, that eventually affects the way I perceive and think about things and those around and in front of me.

It works both ways.

Quite interestingly, I was wondering, what if media never existed, how would that have affected the way we turned out? The way we look and think of people and things? How different would it be?

relationships

When I was in the unit during my service with the army, my officer commanding made a deduction, he said I was good at getting the ball rolling, but I needed to make an effort to keep it going. And I guess he might have been largely right about that then, I hope I've made improvements since.

If I was the person starting the fire at a barbeque party, I had probably done great, but after I'm done, someone would have to take over while I go set the table or prepare dessert. I have a low attention span, I don't really like to dwell on boring things.

That might explain how I translate certain behaviours into my personal life. I don't text my friends, I don't message them unless I see the need to. It's a chore, and there is nothing personal about it because I don't message all of my friends. I find it a hassle to text, I did rather pick up the phone and dial you a call and have a proper conversation, but it's too expensive. I would rather meet you for coffee and talk about the good times we used to have, but I honestly would really rather we go on a trip or climb a mountain together, to make another memory and discover more about each other.

I like my alone time, I would rather sit at the beach and watch the waves go by. I'm not an introvert. I love meeting new people, making new friends and getting to know each and everyone better. Sometimes I wonder why I'm this way also. I've had friends who come to me asking why I don't call or text them. But perhaps it's because I'm a low maintenance friend and I don't service others as much as well.

Sometimes I conclude that I'm just waiting to invest in the right people. The right one.

But as I would advocate, never build your life on people and things that aren't constant. Build them on the surest things, principals, morals and values. Things that won't go wrong. The centre pole keeping this tent up must not waiver in the face of storms and uncertainty.

Writing the above made me realise a few more things about myself that I didn't know that I didn't know.

Day 2 at my 23rd Mayhem. Boy I'm getting old.

pricetag

Everything has a price tag, the food we eat, the water we drink, the entertainment we get and the roof that shelters us from the elements. There're certainly things that you definitely cannot put a price tag to. Other than the relationships we have and life, the rest comes with strings. Most of the time, people don't see it until they're in a state of financial independence.

You don't see it until you realise that you actually have to pay for it.

For myself, I guess I'm almost in a state of full financial independence. If I don't have to pay my parents for the amount of money they invested into my education and raising me, I'm largely debt free. Ha ha. As filial children, we definitely have to make due contributions back to our parents when possible.

As of now, I must say, being financially responsible and mostly independent is really tiring and stressful. Suddenly, the world comes down on you, and every cent you spend matters, every dollar you save is worth that little. 

I guess it really is hard for those who're still under the shelters of their parents to envision, but simply put, imagine your parents sold everything except the bare necessities that you need, your clothes, bags and shoes. And they're on this long holiday where until they return, you're supposed to fend for yourself. No, there is no air-conditioned room with a comfy bed and a warm shower waiting for you at the end of the day. There is no free unlimited internet access. You need to call someone? Sure, make sure you've paid your mobile subscription! Your clothing tore? Fix it yourself or pay the tailor. I guess that should paint a better picture for those who've yet to leave the comfort of their caregivers.

Being financially responsible made me realise a few important things:

1. It's important to plan your spending, savings and investments and put them into action
2. Mindless debts, credit cards and bills are the last thing that you would want to involve yourself in
3. Don't just work hard, work smart
4. Knowledge comes with a pricetag, and is essentially, an investment as well

But that doesn't mean that we have to give up on all our hobbies and happiness. You just have to ensure you plan and factor a reasonable amount into feeding your social life and filling your spirit. Things that you love to do and keep your body and mind in a balanced state.

I really wanna revamp the blog. But the laptop I have is 5 years old, I have no camera, the phone I use is borrowed from. Ha ha, oh well, got to work harder and smarter to get myself these "wants". The only person I can turn to and ask things from is ultimately the man in the mirror now. 

Growing up. Pfft. Hahahaha!

words are cheap, and actions are everything

because action speaks louder than words.

Here comes the big move and change. It's always been on my mind to seek out a loft of my own, and I don't mean a literal loft. I wished my wallet was way more well endowed, but till then, just a space of my own will do.

Many people have been asking why and I guess there really Are several factors. To round it up, I'll just say that I'm a growing kid that needs his own space. Space to think, space to work and space to roll around and laze.

It has always been on my mind and this isn't some last minute sudden thought and or move made in a haste. I'm very much sure it's a move that I'll appreciate and thank myself for.

It also means that I'll have to forsake a whole bunch of financial vices that go under my "Happiness" fund. LOLS! I do have my own P&L list, and I have a segment called Happiness, which always seem to make my wallet really really sad.

Sometimes I just like to take a leap, a giant leap to see where I land on.

A quote from myself to myself and those who sometimes need some conviction in stepping out of their comfort zone.

"Sheltered plants will never bath in rain and sunlight"